yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
