I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
