I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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