She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
