if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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