there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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