He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
