I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
