you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
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