Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
