"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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