Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
