I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My penis needs a shock collar
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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