she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
