I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
