I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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