lets start a swedish sibling band together
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
