she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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