My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Is Oprah even human
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize