The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.