Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
