Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped