I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize