so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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