Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
