She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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