Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
