Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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