I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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