I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
