somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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