Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
