What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
one might say we're banned from that church
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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