Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Randomize
