Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
