What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
