She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
