do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
