is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
