How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
