Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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