Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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