i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize