I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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