It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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