I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize