don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
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