I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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