I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Walk of Shame today included voting.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
