I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
What drink are we having for lunch?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
