you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
