Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think I won the penis lottery.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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