i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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