capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
