You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize