I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
