You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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