So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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