# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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