you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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