Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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