Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
