Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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