The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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